Don’t get offended. I don’t mean weirdness in a derogatory fashion. I mean it in a statistical way. As most of you know from your high school math lessons a typical distribution for anything is the Gaussian distribution. That is most people in the middle. These are categorized as the “norm”. The people on both sides of the “norm” are the “outliers”. I have freely qualified these as weird. I do not take offense as I believe I am one of the weird ones.
Just like anything else, there is a mainstream and online dating is no stranger to this reality. When you stray from that mainstream you are exploring the highly individualized “alternatives”. Here is where the term alternate dating or alternate whatever really comes from. It is an alternative to the mainstream.
So after our many months or years of introspection, should we feel worried or concerned if we realize that we fall into the minority that skirts the fringes of the Gaussian bell curve? I say nonsense! As a matter of fact I make the case that we should wear our individuality as a badge of honor.
When we consider really why the bell curve happens to appear in evaluating human behavior we know that a percentage of those that are in the mainstream are there purely out of social convention. Basically they were told to be in a certain way and they tacitly accepted it.
There is another percentage who has deeply scoured the innards of their being and come to the realization that they indeed are part of this mainstream and participate willingly…I would say these are few but worthy. In the fact that they know themselves they have found their individuality.
Like these individuals who have willingly and knowingly accepted the mainstream, there are a few of us who discover in ourselves something different; more kudos to these individuals. Being a knowing participant in a greater whole is a noble endeavor, but acknowledging being different is an exercise in bravery and requires another level of commitment.
So the next time you are about to click on the “sign me up” button for any alternative dating service remember you are one of the brave ones. You have done the inner work and know what you want. Click away!
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